Every Time You Fall
by KatLeePT
Summary: Rumpel can't sleep on his wedding night. RumBelle. Spoilers!


He sits in the darkness, his body still glowing slightly from the happiness he has experienced this night but his mind greatly bothered and his soul burdened. This should be the happiest night of his life, and indeed it is. Yet, still, he's troubled. The shadows used to be comforting, but now they only remind him of what he's been for so long, the crutches he's used, and the beast he was and with whom his new bride, his one True Love, should not have to contend.

The most wonderful woman he's ever known has given him her undying love and her hand in marriage. His beauty truly does love him. She's given up everything she once had to be with him, and yet already, he's lied to her again. He's lied as he's laid with her. He lied before marrying her, through their marriage, and after their ceremony was completed. He's lied to her all the while, and those lies are beginning to catch up.

"Rumpel?" her soft voice calls to him through the darkness, and for a moment, he images there is light coming from where she speaks. But, no. Whereas she is the light in his darkness, her actual words do not emit a glow nor will they ever for she has only once succumbed to the call of magic. That one time was to save him, and yet now, he realizes, as her hand touches his, that he may well have doomed himself . . . again and, this time, for all eternity.

He stills himself as she approaches him. He wants nothing but to feel her arms around him again, but he fears once he admits to her his final lie, she'll never want to soil her cherished self with him again. "Rumpel, darling, why aren't you sleeping?"

"I . . . I can't sleep," he admits slowly.

"Well, I know that," she says, slipping up behind him on her knees and wrapping her slender arms around his shoulders, "but why? Aren't you happy?"

"Oh, Belle." There are tears in the Imp's eyes, but he won't let them fall - at least, not yet, not until she's confirmed his worst nightmares and told him she not only wants a divorce but wants nothing else to do with him ever again. He knows already he can not blame her for this, all of this, is his fault. He never should have lied to her. Love can not be based on lies, and yet, he loves her more than he's ever loved any one, even Bae.

"Tell me," she whispers pleadingly next to his ear. "What's wrong? Is it something I did? Something I didn't do?"

Her words catch at his heart. She could never do anything to upset him except leave him, but that, when it happens, will not be her fault in the slightest. It's all his fault. Everything that's ever happened to them that has been bad has been his fault. He should have freed her a long time ago. He would have been miserable, unable to be saved or consoled ever again, but at least, she could have had her happily ever after.

He touches the hand that's caressing his right sholder and reflects again how much smaller she is than he, smaller but oh so wiser and stronger. She never would have succumbed to the temptations he's allowed to lead his life for so long. "You never could do anything wrong," he tells her. "You were wonderful, my sweet."

Indeed, she has been wonderful, far more wonderful than he's deserved or ever could. She's been wonderful to love him. She's been wonderful to make so many sacrifices so their love could grow. She's been amazingly wonderful to somehow see a man worth saving, worth loving, within his many ghastly shells. She's been wonderful tonight. Their wedding night was everything of which he could have ever dreamed, and more, much more. He raises her hand to his lips and kisses it gingerly, knowing that, for as wonderful as she's been, he's every bit ghastly, uncouth, every bit the villain every one else wants to see him as.

"What's wrong?" she pleads again.

He sighs. He's not facing her, but yet still, he can see her large, blue eyes looking at him with emotion shining in them. She's begging him, and he's not been able to deny her anything for a long time. Even when she was supposed to be working for him, he had trouble denying her requests, rather it was saving a chipped cup or saving a life that was rightfully his to destroy.

"I'm sory, Belle."

"For what?" Her confusion is plain in her voice and, he knows, in her eyes, too. Her brow is creased slightly as she worries over him and what he has to say.

It takes all the courage he has left to say his next words, "I killed Zelena."

In the reigning silence that ensues, he tries to prepare himself for what he knows is to come. He tries to ready himself to have her turn from him, to have the hands now touching him so full of love turn ice cold with fear and hatred, to have her eyes go from being filled with concern and adoration for him to fear and anguish. In the next few seconds, he imagines the woman he loves shouting a hundred different things at him, all horrible, all crushing to his soul, but when she does speak again, he never could have imagined her whispered admission.

"I know."

"What?!" He jumps with his surprise, turning, at last, to face her. He's still holding her hand, but this time more tightly than ever before.

"I know," she says again with a small smile.

"But . . . But . . . How?!" It is rare indeed that Rumpelstiltskin's vast vocabulary fails him, but this is one of only five times that he can recall.

Her smile grows. He knows she's placating him, but for once, he doesn't care. "She killed your son, Rumpel. You did what you thought you had to do, what you felt was right, to avenge your child. I knew you did it when we went to the jail, but I didn't want the others to know. They wouldn't understand."

"But . . . But I promised you." Even his lips barely move as he whispers the words.

"Not exactly. You were very careful with what you said. You're always careful with your promises."

He stares at her, long and hard, completely amazed, completely wowed beyond words by this amazingly wonderful woman's love for him. "How do you not hate me?" he asks. "Or, at least, fear me?"

"Rumpel," Belle croons, cupping his distressed face in her loving hands, "I could never hate you. I will always love you! I know I've often complained about your ways, and I'll never stop helping you fight the darkness. But one thing I realized while you were dead was that the darkness is a part of you. No matter what we do, it will always be there, and sometimes, you will slip. Sometimes, you will fall, and I want to be here to catch you every time you fall just like you caught me back in the castle that day when I fell off of the ladder."

He smiles, and despite his strength, a tear slips from his eye. She catches it with her finger. "You killed Zelena. You did what you thought was right. I can't blame you for killing the Witch who killed your son, especially not after everything you did to try to make a life with him, to try to save him, but he died a hero, Rumpel, just like you did."

He's no hero, but he's not going to argue that point tonight. "There's something else," he said, but she's catching on even before he can continue.

"I know. I don't have the real dagger."

His mouth literally falls open. She grins and even giggles a bit, but then she grows serious once more and gazes intently up at him. "Do you really think," she asks, his face still held lovingly in her delicate hands, "that I would keep something that powerful in my_purse_ where anybody could steal it and use it to control you and take you away from me again?"

A smile chases over his face. His eyes twinkle. He should have known better, he realizes, for true to her word is Belle is far more intelligent than that. "You're right," he says, inclining his head in a slight nod.

"I know I'm right." She grins. "But it is nice to hear you say that for once."

He lifts one of her hands from his cheek, squeezes it with his own, and then kisses it. "You'll be hearing that a lot more often in the future, milady."

"That's one promise I'm going to keep you to, you know."

"Do so," he replies with a smile, and then he kisses her. For the first time in a long time, there is no heaviness left in his heart. It's full of light caused by and love for her. This night truly is the happiest night of his life, and as he kisses her again and again and gently lays her back down on their bed, he knows in the gladness of his heart that, whereas he'll never be a hero, he is finally going to get his happily ever after for she is his happiness, his joy, his love, his whole world starting anew this night. "I love you, Belle!"

The End


End file.
